The Hurricane Heist

The Little Prince, Castlevania and The Meyerowitz Stories. What do all these titles have in common? They’re big bugeted projects that got dumped on Netflix while SyFy quality movies like this get the red carpet curtesy of Entertainment Studios Motion Pictures and Fast and the Furious director/creator, Rob Cohen.

A government facility with millions of dollars to shred is taken hostage by robbers using a hurricane as cover. And if that doesn’t sound like a great time when you’re drunk, then stop right here because this isn’t your kind of movie. What’s to go over that’s not both a pro and con? It’s strengths are its weaknesses and vise versa, right down to a literal skull forming in the hurricane clouds, as if 2017’s The Mummy had to inspire something in this world. Cast members from Game of Thrones pull something different even if it feels odd because of the script, but that’s part of the enjoyably, horrible charm, especially the villain who’s so hammy you could serve him at a luau every time his Alan Rickman/Adam Driver french accent gobbles the set. The effects? Some of the worst ever put on screen, but a real comedy in mediocre execution that Uwe Boll would laugh at from his restaurant. You’ll believe that inflatable car dealership tubes will have a future in acting for the special edition. But it’s all in the most absurd fun once in a while when something comes out of nowhere.

The Hurricane Heist is not a masterpiece: it’s a batsh!t insane drunk fest. Don’t go in sober for the best experience and bring your friends/chosen family with you for the ride. There’s Die Hard on a plane, Die Hard on a boat, Die Hard on a Bus and now Die Hard in a Hurricane. But after falling asleep during A Wrinkle in Time, consider this an enjoyable alarm clock.

Pros: Insane implausibility, effects, hammy acting, delightfully stupid, never ends

Cons: Insane implausibility, effects, hammy acting, delightfully stupid, drags

6/10

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