By Jose Anguiano
July 30th, 2023
Unlike “Pirates of the Caribbean”, Disney’s “The Haunted Mansion” failed to expand into multimedia adaptations. The 2003 Eddie Murphy vehicle by “Lion King” codirector Rob Minkoff was a critical and financial disappointment. Since then, other variations entered production like an animated series by “Kubo and Two Strings” character designer Shannon Tindle and a reboot film by Guillermo Del Toro. Sadly, they fell apart with only the “Muppets Haunted Mansion” special seeing the light of day in 2021. Two years later, Disney attempts to course correct its mistake rather than remake another animated classic into live action. Unfortunately, the results remain the same even with the advancements in filmmaking and the few mistakes it retcons.
Like the original, the story has a fascinating concept concerning the main character, Ben (LaKeith Stanfield). A grieving widower who gave up his pursuit of science, he is hired by a single mother (Rosaria Dawson) to investigate paranormal activity inside a newly purchased mansion. Alongside him are a priest (Owen Wilson), a college professor (Danny DeVito), and a psychic medium (Tiffany Haddish). They’re up against the hatbox ghost (Jared Leto), who is a better obstacle compared to Terrance Stamp’s twist villain butler. His deep voice could scare Boris Karloff and his walking mannerisms could put the Mummy to shame. Without giving away spoilers, his backstory utilizes the ride’s lore to great effect.
Back onto Ben, his arc could’ve served as a brilliant down to earth hook before proceeding into the fantastical dangers of the mansion. However, it’s pushed into the background because the Disney brand does not have the guts to fully explore this psychologically scarring experience in a film that can’t juggle horror and comedy like Sam Raimi or Tim Burton. Studios like Paramount and Universal can dive deeper into this narrative because they’re not tied down by a family friendly reputation. When the dramatic moments come up, they’re the best parts of this ride, and Stanfield pulls off the needed acting chops to deliver the emotional pay off. If only the blatant product placement would step aside so these moments could last instead of breaking the pacing just to sell food and technology. A scene will play out organically only for an out of place fast food logo to completely stop the narrative in its tracks to advertise the latest cheeseburger meal.
If that wasn’t enough, many of the jokes fall flat because they constantly outstay their welcome when they could’ve been cut out to improve the pacing. The only jokes that have some chuckles are from the ensemble cast, particularly DeVito who doesn’t hold back in being the guy you don’t want to mess with. All of them play off each other well in challenging their skills to explore the paranormal elements, like Haddish as the medium that everyone thinks is a scam artist. This wouldn’t be a problem if there were stronger horror elements, but aside from one scene in an attic with a bride wielding an axe, they are few and far between. Some scenes are creative like the mansion separating all the characters in different rooms to break up the group, but they come at the climax after a slogging first act and a meandering second act. Overreliance on CGI is expected given the abundance of ghosts but compared to Rick Baker’s zombie makeup in the original, these don’t hold a candle to that practicality. At this point, why not just make this an animated movie if so many special effects are needed for the dead? This should’ve been an easy film to deliver given that there are blueprints on how not to execute this narrative.
Ultimately, “Disney’s Haunted Mansion” tries to salvage whatever it can from its first attempt, but sadly nothing is gained nor lost in this second trip unless this is your kids introduction to horror. While the ensemble cast has great chemistry, the lead has a potentially deep narrative, and the hatbox ghost is a spooky villain with endless creativity in the final act, the comedy and horror aren’t strong enough on their own or together to make this adaptation work. At two hours, length, a half could’ve been cut to improve the pacing. The original isn’t better, but the costumes, sets and special effects had more practicality and a creepier atmosphere despite Murphy’s presence. What this movie really needed was an auteur with expertise in spooky elements to enhance the atmosphere and scares like Raimi, Burton, or Del Toro. If you want a better experience aside from the ride, watch “Muppets Haunted Mansion”. Since the majority of character are Muppets, the use of puppets automatically makes it more real than the overused CGI in this film. But for those who want a darker take on this classic, play the 2003 video game that knows how to balance horror and humor. Exploring one room in the game will make your socks run under the bed because the T rating allows for more macabre content like giant spiders and ghostly grim reapers. This, on the other hand, doesn’t even warrant a shiver. Better luck next time in 20 more years, Disney.
Cinematic Bandicoot 